{Friday Musings} Dear Me; Buy the Dang Pants Already!

If you’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting me in person, I’m sure you’ve noticed two things:

  1. I’m strangely awkward for someone in a very interpersonal field of work. Think nervous giggles and Ashlee Simpson dances
  2. I’m either wearing some form of spandex (most likely yoga pants) or jeans.

I literally own two kinds of pants. Black stretchy ones and blue denim ones.

The black stretchy ones are my favorite. They’re always nice to me. They’re always comfortable and they always fit.

The blue denim ones not so much.

I have one pair of jeans that fit every day no matter what. The rest fall into these categories: Jeans that don’t fit after a heavy squat day. Jeans that don’t fit after a week of eating these. Jeans that never really fit, but I forced myself to wear anyway.

I hate buying jeans because I hate trying on jeans.

(image from Pinterest)

Why do I hate trying on jeans, you ask? Well, first of all, who actually likes trying on jeans? Second of all, I hate trying on jeans because I’m afraid the “right” size won’t fit. Third of all, no jeans actually “fit” me: they’re always too big in the waist and too small in the hip/butt/thigh region. (Do these squats make my butt look big?)

My whole life, I’ve based whether I buy a pair of jeans on that number on the tag instead of how they actually fit me.

Why? Because they WILL fit me.

They WILL fit me AFTER I (fill in the blank).

I usually filled the blank with “lose 10 pounds.”

My whole life, I’ve based whether I buy a pair of jeans mostly on that number on the tag instead of how they actually fit me.

Until now.

I was in desperate need (well, maybe not desperate) of new jeans that fit me no matter what. Due to my fear of trying on jeans, I haven’t actually bought new non-black-stretchy-pants in over a year.

This week I stumbled up on this post: Stop Postponing Your Life Until You Lose Weight by Amber at Body Beautiful Yoga & My Aim is True. (If you haven’t already, go read this post!)

In the past three years, I’ve done a pretty good job of healing my relationship with my body. After reading this post, I realized that even though I love my body more than ever, I’m still torturing myself by holding on to my jean size.

I had a stupid fear of having to buy a size bigger.

Now, I say stupid because the reason I probably NEED a size bigger is because of my, ahem, strong legs. I think it’s stupid that my awesome legs, that allow me to do so much (like get a new back squat 1 rep max of 215 lbs in my basement YAY!), are forced to squeeze into pants that don’t fit them.

(Image from Lift Big, Eat Big)

When I get serious with myself, I’d much rather wear comfortable clothes than clothes that make me walk around like the peg leg pirate from Family Guy.

So. I went jean shopping. I found a pair of Levis on sale for $15.00. They didn’t have my usual size, so I got the next size up, which happen to be fit me better than “my size”.Ā  My jean size, just like my weight, does not define me. It’s not like a was a better person because I had a smaller pant size…what does size matter? I’m healthy. I’m strong and, most importantly, I’m happy with my body more often than not.

My point is this: the old me wouldn’t have bought them at all because they didn’t have my ideal size. It might sound crazy, but it was hard for me…baby steps, my friends. Baby steps.

Post Script: I feel like a giant hypocrite writing this post–because I’m always saying “love your shape” and stuff, and now I’m showing you that I didn’t totally love my own shape.

I decided to write this post because I’m not perfect. I’m a work in progress. I have issues just like everyone has issues. If this post inspires you to go buy comfortable jeans, then that’s wonderful.Ā  If it finally proves to you that I’m not the super human you thought me to be, well, good. The pressure of being perfect was getting to be too much anyway *sarcasm*

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10 Responses to {Friday Musings} Dear Me; Buy the Dang Pants Already!

  1. carole March 9, 2012 at 8:36 AM #

    Allison, thanks for this. 215 squats? Really, that is awesome!!

    • Allison March 9, 2012 at 8:44 AM #

      You’re so welcome!

      • Julia March 9, 2012 at 12:11 PM #

        love your post xoxox

        • Allison March 9, 2012 at 12:34 PM #

          Thanks, Julia! I actually thought about those times we would go to Abercrombie together while writing this… and that time I slept in my jeans so that they would be looser in the morning…what?

  2. Gale March 10, 2012 at 10:36 PM #

    You know, regardless of your “ideal size” and how you feel about your body, it is simply REALLY difficult to find jeans that fit correctly. I’m pretty sure most people fluctuate a few sizes across brand names. Just another reason not to worry about a number and count yourself lucky when a pair fits correctly!

    Fifteen $$ is a number I could live with šŸ™‚

    • Allison March 12, 2012 at 7:41 PM #

      That’s so true, Gale– size is so arbitrary…it seems insane that we (society) value it so much

  3. Amber Karnes March 12, 2012 at 6:48 PM #

    Thanks for the link love, and I’m glad the post resonated with you! One of my all time favorite pieces of advice from Tim Gunn is to buy something that fits your body well, regardless of the tag inside. That’s what scissors are for. šŸ˜‰

    • Allison March 12, 2012 at 7:40 PM #

      Love that! Thanks for sharing, Amber…and THANK YOU for writing your post last week!

  4. Katie January 6, 2013 at 12:29 PM #

    Get out of my head! Haha! This is EXACTLY how I feel with jeans! And exactly the problem I have with the fit! Ive always wondered why so many other people find them so comfortable when I need at least three different sizes depending on my size that day. And since I also have the dreaded fear of buying a “size up” I currently have probably ten pairs and one that I actualy like. Why oh why cant we wear our yoga pants day in and day out!? However I have been saying I need new, comfortable, flattering jeans for awhile now and you have definitley inspired me to go get some! Hey, if I finally lose those extra 10 lbs then they will just be a little looser, right?? And congrats on the squat!! That is awesome!!!! Found my one rep max of 160 about a month ago, and SO wanted to get it up before the new year, buuuuuuttt due to an unfortunate incident involving a box jump the week after I’ve been sidelined for the past month!! šŸ™ Almost ready to jump back into it though (pun intended!.) Just started following, but cant wait to read more, love the blog!!

    • Allison January 7, 2013 at 10:53 AM #

      Thanks so much for sharing, Katie! Congrats on YOUR squat! I’ve been hearing about a lot of unfortunate box jump induced injuries lately…I hope you’re healed up and ready to get after it in the new year!

      It’s funny– I definitely go through the same mental phases when it comes to buying jeans. I can’t let go of the jeans that are too small (b/c what if I DO lose that last 10#?), and I’m currently wearing only 3 out of the 4 billion pairs of jeans that I own…Your comment brought me back to reality. It’s probably time for me to buy some new jeans šŸ˜‰

Thoughts? Feel free to comment below!

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