Friday Musings is BACK. In case you didn’t notice, I flaked out last Friday…it was a busy week, man.
Anyhoo. I know you’ve waited all week for this post. Biting your nails and sitting on the edge of your seat and stuff.
That’s a lot of pressure on me, you know? Especially considering I usually don’t know what I’m going to write about until my fingers start spidering along the keyboard.
I’ve decided that today is Opposite Day.
Thus, I’m going to tell you my top fitness tips of all time.
(BUT in the real world, these are really the WORST fitness tips of all time. Get it? Because it’s Opposite Day?)
Is this whole Opposite Day thing too confusing? Maybe. Well, I’m sticking to it. SO get ready to be confused, people.
How to Workout Like a Boss (on Opposite Day):
1. You only really need to do one exercise. And that exercise, is the bicep curl.
2. Spot reduction is a real thing. Make sure to do one million crunches every day to get the abs you’ve always wanted.
3. The “Yes/No” machine is the most useful machine at the gym. Hop on it.
4. Drinking Gatorade will turn you into a professional athlete, so you better chug that stuff.
5. Don’t even attempt that leg press machine unless you’re wearing a T-shirt with the sleeves cut off and hammer pants (seriously…there was a guy at my old gym who dressed like this. I think his name was “Jerry Guns.”)
6. When in doubt, just do what this lady is doing:
7. Always stretch your back-upper-tummy area after a workout. I’ll let you try to figure out where that is.
This is Chester. Working out like a Boss.
Okay. Let’s dump the opposite day. But I’m going to keep all of that stuff you just read in here because I think I’m hilarious sometimes. And I want you to know how hilarious I can be.
Here is how to ACTUALLY workout like a boss. In my opinion.
1. Find a type of movement you love and do it because you LOVE it and you want to get better at it.
This could mean Crossfit, this could mean adult hip-hop classes, or BJJ–the important thing is that you always love what you’re doing. There might be days when you don’t particularly like it (like when you see Fran on the whiteboard), but overall, you love it.
2. Cherish your rest days as you do your workout days.
Part of working out like a Boss is taking care of yourself so that you CAN workout like a Boss. This means taking rest days–not active rest days, but actual, sit-on-your-bum, rest days.
3. Be Coachable.
You respond positively to all cueing. Regardless of what you think you are doing, if a coach offers a cue, you accept it and employ it.You have the emotional and mental maturity to respond to coaching, workouts, judging and scenarios that don’t go your way. You smile at your mistakes, you don’t exclaim when workouts or drills aren’t to your taste. You don’t have outbursts if you miss a double under or set a new snatch PR. etc. You prioritize your workouts but not at the expense of your fellow athletes.
To me, this means going to the gym with purpose. Not letting your ego get in the way. This applies to Crossfit and team sports, but it can apply to the conventional gym go-er as well.