{Friday Musings} Dear Coffee, It might be time for us to break up…

I’ve been lying to myself.

Remember that time I wrote about coffee?

Well, let me refresh your memory:

  • I self-diagnosed myself as a fast metabolizer of caffeine.
  • I told you all about how I used to drink like 8 medium coffees a day while working at a cafe in Boston’s South End.
  • I told you all about how I used to drink like 3 Splenda in each of those 8 coffees…you do the math.
  • I told you all about how I have a great relationship with my coffee and that I don’t need it to survive.

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Well. It turns out I might not be that fast-metabolizing-of-caffeine cat that I thought I was.

My relationship with coffee might have turned out to be not the healthiest.

I mean, you can’t see it when you’re IN it? Isn’t that what they say about relationship issues?

This morning I woke up and realized that I didn’t have anything to put in my first cup of coffee.

  • No grass-fed butter.
  • No coconut milk.
  • No coconut oil.

I said to myself:

“No biggie– I’ll just grab a coffee when I’m on my way to get shiz done. I don’t need you right NOW, coffee– I’ll be totally fine waiting an hour. I have a great relationship with you based on ritual and fun. Definitely not on NEED. I don’t need you coffee. You’re not my medicine.”

A half hour later I noticed that all I was thinking about was my coffee.

When will I be able to stop and get coffee?

Where will I go to stop and get coffee?

WHEN WILL I BE ABLE TO STOP AND GET COFFEE???!!!

I also noticed that I had a super headache.

Like a headache that can only mean one thing:

You’re addicted to coffee.

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CRAP DAMMIT.

I’ve been lying to myself.

Telling myself that I had this great relationship with coffee.

That I drank it because I loved it.

Not because I needed it to start my day.

Turns out I was wrong.

I do need it.

My headache and obsessive thoughts are telling me so.

So. Now what?

Now I reevaluate and make some changes.

Instead of having 3 to 4 cups of coffee a day (actually writing down that I drink 4 cups of coffee a day makes me feel kind of silly…who has a good relationship with coffee and still drinks 4 cups a day?!) I’ll cut back to 1 or 2. 2 Maximum.

I don’t think I’ll notice cutting back to 2, but I would notice cutting back to 1. It’s a ritual thing.

In the next few weeks, I’ll make a point to check in with myself,  reevaluate the relationship and make any other adjustments.

It’s a good thing the Spring Nutritional Reset is coming up– it’s a perfect platform for me to experiment with this coffee relationship. Eating more whole foods, focusing on being mindful and having support from the other amazing cleansers.

Intrigued? You can read more about it here. The Early Bird Special ends Sunday, March 31st.

BTW. I did end up going out to get that coffee.

Then I spilled it on myself.

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What’s your relationship with coffee? Healthy? Or are you in denial like I was? Feel free to share in the comments below.

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