I have a confession.
Yes, another one.
Although I’ve found a way of eating that works for me, I haven’t found THE way of eating that works for me.
Let me explain:
I’ve found a way of eating that keeps my skin clear.
That keeps my energy levels stable.
That keeps workouts productive and my recovery short.
That keeps my digestion happy.
To the outside eye, it might seem as though I have everything figured out.
I’m still learning more and more about myself.
To the outside eye, it might seem as though this way of eating THE best way of eating for me.
I thought it was too…
But I keep feeling like something is missing.
A mental piece of the food routine puzzle is missing.
My current way of eating keeps me physically satisfied.
It gives me enough fuel to do all of the things that I love to do.
But it doesn’t keep me mentally satisfied.
I feel like I’m always looking for something more…
and occasionally slipping back in to my old diet mentality.
Wanting to “lean out.”
Wanting to lose those last 10 pounds.
Thinking maybe if I eat X amount of carbs, my body will change.
Thinking maybe if I eat X number of calories my body will change.
To me, feelings like that signify that how I’m eating, although much more balanced than in the past, is still lacking that special something.
But maybe it’s not.
Maybe these feelings of mental dissatisfaction have nothing to with the food I’m eating.
I feel physically satisfied and not at all deprived.
I eat when I’m hungry and I don’t feel restricted at all.
Is it possible that not everything can be fixed by changing how you eat?
It seems so simple when I pose it this way.
Yes. It’s definitely possible that not everything can be fixed by changing what and how you eat.
But you probably knew that already.
And here I am being confused like some kind of dummy telling you all about something that makes no sense.
I mean, isn’t what I do as a health counselor to support people to change their relationship with food?
Yes. It is. BTW.
It’s not the food that’s my problem.
It’s my relationship with food.
and my relationship with my body.
I can eat all of the healthy foods on the planet, but if I’m not mentally satisfied with my relationship with those healthy foods and with my body, then I’m never going to feel like I’m doing the right thing.
I guess my point in writing this post is twofold…or morefold.
To show you that even if you’re eating all the right things for you, that might not be enough. The best way of eating for YOU is part food, part good relationship with food and with your body. Having all of those things is what truly makes a food routine YOUR best food routine.
and to show you that even though I work with food and food relationships for a living, I still don’t have everything figured out.
That healing your relationship with food and with your body takes time.
Lots of time.
That there are ups and downs.
That being drawn to your old diet mentality is normal and a part of the healing process.
The downs (feeling like you want to start dieting) are the learning experiences.
They’re critical to the experimentation process.
The key is to be able to take a step back, identify and acknowledge them.
And then to start a new experiment.
On the road to finding your true