{Friday Musings} I’m a work in progress

Confession: I’m a work in progress when it comes to eating and my relationship with food.

Even as a health counselor, there are still days when I get sucked in. Sucked into obsession.

It takes a different form than it used to.

I no longerĀ  obsess about having a thigh gap, or being able to see my ribs.

But I do sometimes obsess about bigger deltoids and getting 2x body weight squat.

It might seem like wanting a thigh gap and wanting a heavier squat aren’t the same thing.

But, depending on how you think about these goals, they are the same.

You see, one can obsess just as much about heavier squats as they can over thigh-gaps.

Just because the goal looks healthier on the outside, doesn’t mean it’s actually healthy.

It’s all about how you think about it.

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When I start obsessing over making it to the gym and getting moody (aka having adult tantrums) about not making it to the gym, my goal to have a heavier squat quickly becomes unhealthy.

We have the power to turn anything into an obsession.

You can definitely obsess over squats the same way you obsess about food.

Instead of a negative diet mentality, you get caught in a negative squat mentality.

If you’ve ever been in that diet mentality it’s really hard to get out. In fact, I think that you never truly get out: you may heal your relationship with food and your body, but if you’ve been in that mentality, you’re more likely to apply it to other aspects of your life once you’re out.

Hence being a work in progress.

As someone who’s been in that diet mentality, I know that I have to be conscious of apply that mentality to other parts of my life.

Squats included.

I’m almost constantly reminding myself to find balance.

Because balance is the opposite of a diet mentality.

Being in balance means knowing that when I get obsessed with squatting, there’s something else going on.

Probably something non-food.

Being in balance means being in tune with my body and being able to deconstruct the obsession and address the real issue.

I’m a work in progress in that I’m always striving for balance and always working to better my relationship with myself and my body.

I’m a work in progress.

Are you? Feel free to share in the comments below.

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Thoughts? Feel free to comment below!

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